no. 19: please, let me die.

to those who know me and/or care about me, this is my living will:if i am ever involved in a horrible accident and the prognosis is poor, please, if you love me, pull the plug. i do not want to spend days, months, years, etc., rotting in an ICU. if my condition, as judged by my doctors, is is not likely to lead to a meaningful recovery, put me out of my misery. no feeding tube, no trachs. nothing. let me die in opioid-induced bliss. in addition, i don't want you, my family and friends, to be the people coming to visit the sorry lump of flesh that was me, saying and doing silly things that will make us all the subject of ridicule.

let me go. it's been a good ride for me, for the most part, and i don't want to check-out covered in bed sores, emaciated and stinky, taking up valuable hospital resources and the time of residents who are forced to care for me even though they know my case is futile. spare us all, please!

i want to be cremated. not, under any circumstances, do i want to be buried. no prosaic funeral with a lame-ass photo of me on the coffin. you can celebrate my passing, by make it something that i would have enjoyed. high quality gin, some single malt scotch, maybe some wine. there should be plenty of food too, including sweet things. and for god's sake, don't invite people who didn't know me very well who just want to jump on the sympathy bandwagon. i don't have many friends, but i don't want them hobnobbing with a bunch of jerks who want to pretend like they cared about me when i was alive now that i am dead.

there should be plenty of crying, not really for my sake, but for the lack of joy there may be given my absence. i also expect that you who know me best will make plenty of jokes about my death that make others feel extremely awkward. please do this not only in the immediate days and weeks after my demise, but for years to follow. that's how i would have wanted it.

in closing, please understand that i say this all with sound mind. this is what i truly want. do it for me, cause i would do it for you. and if you don't be forewarned: i will haunt you from beyond the grave!

yours in eternity,

SC