no. 6: post-chirstmas blues

when it comes to certain subjects, i try to keep my expectations low, since i am less likely to be disappointed if things go poorly, or even slightly better than that. for example, if i expect to leave work an hour late and i wind up leaving only 30 minute late, then i am more satisfied than if i expect to get out on time and wind up leaving 20 minutes late. i try to expect that most days will be very busy, so that if it's slow for a while there is the sense of having received an unforeseen gift.

however, being that last night was christmas, i was hoping--maybe even expecting--a somewhat lower patient. in hindsight, this was fatuous of me, given the cast of lunatics who paraded through the ED on christmas eve. but it was with all the holiday cheer i could muster that i prepared for a slower-than-usual night.

it appeared that i would get my chirstmas wish, since when i arrived the ED was fairly quite, lacking the characteristic patients stuffed in every possible nook of free space, the moaning of people in pain, the caterwauling of the soused, and the indignant complaints of those who have been told "we'll have those results shortly" every 30 minutes for the last 6 hours. (as an aside, i will mention here that these aforementioned waiters are of two types--like so many other ED patrons--those who came with a serious issue, have legitimate cause for concern and who thus anxiously await and fear their results. the second group are those whose chief complaint is certainly not of an emergent nature who are simply restless and angry at having to wait. to this group, i generally reply--with a degree of asperity directly proportional to my tiredness and the inanity of their complaint, and indirectly proportional to my level of patience--that there are people in the ED who are sicker than they (or who are actually sick), and that we take care of the sickest people first. issues that would be best addressed in an outpatient setting or by their primary physician (read, "you didn't need to come here today") are given lowest priority when there are true emergencies.)

when i heard about the 8 patients who were there when i arrived, at least 5 of their stories included the phrases "he was drunk" and "he fell." but these were the amateur, holiday drunks--not the hardcore, chronic folks--who were reportedly jolly, so i wasn't worried.

all was fairly quite, as per my holiday wish, until about 1am. with the turning of the calender from decemeber 25th to december 26th, all vestiges of the holiday lull vanished. ambulances arrived by the barrel-full, depositing asthmatics, abdominal pains, kidney stones, vaginal bleeders, and drug addicts into the formerly peaceful department. i tried to keep the holiday spirit alive by grazing all night at the endless supply of cookies and other sweets that had been left in the nurse's lounge. all that got my was some serious eater's remorse, and and blow to my self esteem.

by 7am i was completely exhausted; my eyes were burning, my head hurt, and my patience was at a dangerously low level. i tried to keep to myself and finish my work quickly and quietly, but some good-natured ribbing by a nurse was more irksome than usual and i snapped at her--a lapse that will likely cost me in the future.
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after all that, what will i take with me to my next shift? some fruit for the benefit of my waistline, and lowered expectations for the benefit of my sanity.